I am back from AZ

Had a blast in arizona with my family and made some $$$ :]]]] my aunt and my cousin paid me to do their makeup and hair for their brother's wedding it turned out beautiful, i really outdid myself haha making money off of something i have a passion for really made me realize why its so hard for me to be happy with the money i make from average jobs, money to me just isnt that great unless im making it off of something i love i guess. Once i get tha pictures from the wedding i'll put em up for everyone to see, i'd love to hear opinions. Besides all that, i've never felt happier! being around people who love me really made me realize that im not alone, i often feel that way out here in san jacinto CA and i have to battle against feeling down on myself, but being around such a loving, accepting and open family and my fellow cousins really made me feel recharged with energy and a positive outlook again. cant wait to see them on new years :) all this made me realize even more that you can be "strong" but EVERYONE needs a support system just because you need people doesnt mean you are weak or too dependent.

LADY GAGA AND HER "NON IMAGE" BULLSHIT

Ok I saw in an interview on MTV I believe, of her talking about how she looks isnt an image and that thats how she dresses everyday to express herself....BULLSHIT, there she is on boiling points in 2005 looking average as fuck, sure she coulda went from average looking to fucken crazy before she got famous and after this boiling points episode but i highly doubt it. Are people really that dumb? EVERYBODY whos famous has an "image" its not 100% who they are if even at all! so why does she look like a cockatoo on acid you say? maybe her record label came up with the image for her and noww i gotta go around seein crazy bitches trying to imitate her ridiculous style on a daily basis when in reality SHE probably doesnt even want to dress like that. Come on have you heard any of her songs? she clearly doesnt write any of them because they completely lack creativity and if she does well then SHE clearly has no creativity because they all sound the same so how could she come up with such crazy, elaborate,ridiculous outfits??? cuz she didnt, someone else did and its all part of her image. and WTF is with all these singers wearing leotards???? every female singer is looking crazy now not just lady gaga look at beyonce in her c3po outfit in her sweet dreams video.

TASHA UPDATE

tasha my min pin got a lil better they didnt find anything in her blood tests, she hasnt had diarrhea but she is still underweight and it looks to me like shes getting skinnier and skinnier still....AND today i noticed she was limping and theres something wrong with her front leg, it looks swollen on the joint..im really worried about her now, especially since we cant take her to the vet right away, we're leaving tomorrow to arizona for my cousins wedding and we'll be gone for 4 days. and I know my irresponsible brother isnt going to be taking extra care for her :[[ what could be wrong with her??

organic makeup

Yaayyy a 100% certified organic makeup, I've tried the lip gloss, mascara, and blush so far. One of the lip glosses wasnt so good it didnt go on smooth when i put it on but in the other color it did and i loved it. I LOVE the blush, it gives a natural luminosity to your face. BUT the mascara wasnt so great, it decently defines and lengthes but if you get it in your eye it BURNS reaaallly bad at least on me it does. Has anyone tried the foundation, concealer or bronzer? im curious as to how good they are... if i buy more from this line i'll give you a review.

What is SUCCESS?

If nobody already knew, I am HIGHLY against mainstream music particularly mainstream hip hop. Being such an underground hiphophead myself i think mainstream hip hop gives REAL hiphop a bad name, not only that but it promotes a shallow way of thinking. I heard this song by drake and trey songz called " successful" it goes "i want the money, money and the cars, cars and the clothes, and the hos i suppose i just wanna be successful" WAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT? pardon my caps lock but just having to repeat that was angering, i need some anger management for this shit. But i think its ridiculous how so many people measure success by materialistic posessions and making a song about it is making lots of people think the same thing not only of materialstic posessions but "ho's" now?? really having a lot of ho's is being successful?? theres a whole lotta ho's out there i thought having a good woman was a success. Success to me is best described by Albert Einstein's quote "strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value" I think if you are of value then you are a success. I cant go to school right now, i have yet to find a job, i dont have many friends, a car, money, or a lotta clothes but dammit i think im a success, because i have made a lot of big strides as a person, i have morals, values, and wisdom, and im a good daughter, friend, and girlfriend. To me success should be measured in how good of a person you are not how much you have. Lets stop the materialism PLEASE and make light of the true important things in life.

This is why I LOVE underground hiphop because that is what underground hiphop rappers do. It's not all about making a hit and making money.

alice in wonderland!

they're makin a new alice in wonderland an johnny depp is in it! im a biiggg disney movie lover and Tim burton fan, so i cannot fucken waaiiitt to see this shit i kno its gonna be iLL and tha makeup is amazingg cant wait. it comes out march 5th 2010

mf doom

all time favorites:) lots of hiphop lovers might love doom, but they dont really know whats up till they hear his doomilation cd!

ADOPT A PET AND SAVE A LIFE

I am a volunteer at my local animal shelter the Ramona Humane Society. it is overpacked with animals, i was told they kill up to 300 animals a day! :[[[ sounds impossible right? i reallly want to do something to help these animals get adopted there are sooo many good dogs in that shelter, i know because im their dog walker haha if you live around my area and are looking for a pet please come to our shelter and adopt , if you are looking for a particular breed, let me know what it is and i will go check for you so you can find your new pet.

my min pin tasha!

I took her to tha vet yesterday, because shes had diarrhea for 2 weeks and is losing weight, she is very skinny now after bein a lil bit more on tha heavyset side most of her life.. i know shes old but its not normal for her to be that skinny when we're giving her 3 meals a day! so we took her to tha vet and he said it could be diabetes or her kidney or something else so they'd have to take blood tests. we got the results today and they couldnt find ANYTHING wrong, they prescribed antibiotics, a parasite medication, and some other one i dont remember what it is..they say if she doesnt get better with these meds she could have CANCER :[[ and they would have to do x-rays to find out (which are pretty expensive). On the up side her personality has been tha same independent, grumpy old lady she's always been, even running around and still food obsessed....what tha hell could be wrong with my little old lady tasha!! i hope she gets better...send positive energy her way:)

My boo and his kreww killin it!

he's tha dreadhead haha i wanted to post this up before i forgot, this tummy ache wont let me sleep:(

EVER FELT LIKE THIS?

this was my anthem a coupla days ago when my family was makin my life hell, gil is so fucken amazing

FALL / WINTER MAKEUP TREND

Every fall and winter what trend do you begin to see? bold lips with a clean simple face. After searching for many years of my life for that perfect red lipstick i have FINALLY found the perfect one. If you are latina like me, you probably have yellowish or olive undertones, and most lipsticks are very cherry colored or bright which make your skin look yellower! so not flattering! and most are very shiny and/or shimmery which to me doesnt look very chic and looks more like CHEAP, i wanted a high quality lipstick that flattered my skin tone and didnt contain a lot of harmful ingredients ( the ones i look to avoid are any parabens and glycols specifically) . Revlons matte lipstick in "in the red" is perrfeecctt paired with their lipliner in "wine" amazinggg. the color is perfect for a girl that wants that miss mystery red kinda color, and tha matte...soo chiccc i've gotten many compliments, anddd i dont recall seeing any parabens or propylene glycol in the ingredients!

a little lesson on love

Now i am nooo expert, I have had only one boyfriend in my whole life so far and pretty much never dated anyone else what most would see as inexperience, i KNOW is actually knowledge and intuition working in unison. I never wasted my teen life dating guys just for their looks, or just because they gave me attention, something in me knew i was worth more than that, my intuition was tellin me someone special is out there and he'll be just tha right fit for me. There were many guys of course that i took interest in, even one that i fell in love with (never ended up together tho), but i always let things flow i never forced anything to happen. Now that I have a boyfriend that i've been with for quite a while, i know that relationships are not a fairytale it gets really really hard sometimes, but one thing is for certain if your man is a loyal good hearted person, and you are a loyal good hearted person, and your sacral, heart, and third eye chakra are in sync...then your relationship is sure to last and it is sure to be true love. Just because you may argue a lot with your man for a while does not mean that it is the end, i've found that almost every arguement i've had with my boyfriend in the end is something that makes me a better person, same goes for him. NEVER GIVE UP ON THA PERSON YOU LOVE IF YOUR GUT TELLS YOU ITS TRUE. I truly think that in every relationship you have friendship or more, that person is in your life is there to teach you something and if you or the other person isnt willing to learn, than the relationship will not work. IT TAKES 2 UNSELFISH, OPEN, GOOD HEARTED people to make any kind of relationship work, so long as you are selfish and unwilling to admit your flaws and want to change them you will be completely unsuccessful in finding true love. i see romantic love as a gift that the divine gives us for for being open to our truth and following our path. i believe EVERYBODY is on this earth to make themselves a better person and help others in tha process i think that is the "main goal", and if you're not on that path, if you are lost..you will not have good things coming your way..life will throw difficult lessons at you over and over and over again until you see the truth and finally learn, and tha longer you resist, tha tougher it'll get.

tha basics...

When i talk about my life, its pretty hard to keep it simple... but on tha outside my life does seem sooo simple to a person looking in. I am 100% colombian, born in california. I just turned 20 in november, i live with my mom marta, dad jaime, 23 year old brother al, his girlfriend jess...her dog "demon" a chihuahua with split personality disorder, and last but not least my 2 MinPins tasha and Ruby..hmm jus that should give you a hint as to how crazy my life really is :) I live in a city thats not quite a small town and not quite a well-known city, lots of people still dont kno wat im talkin about when i say tha name.. "San Jacinto", a town with little diversity and a whole lotta mexicans haha when i say little diversity, I mean for example if I lived in Riverside id be able to meet quite a few people that are into underground hiphop, bboys, bgirls, artists, list goes on and on. Around here you really cant find people that are into some of these things, i probably can count on my hand tha people that are truly "down" with tha realness, why i dont chill with those people is a whooole other blog post. For a person like me, where hiphop and common interests means so much..its a big deal.

I have a boyfriend who I've been with for 2 years and 9 months now, his name is Mike if you're in tha bboy game you may kno him as OSM:) he's in a bboy crew established in temecula called Ill Flavored Rejects, havent heard of em? look em up on youtube and check tha footy although there isnt a whole lot up right now. i'll save tha story of me and mike for another day. So pretty much those are tha everyday people in my life right now...not really any friends in case you didnt notice.. and like i said thats a whooolee other lonngg asss stoorryyy.. no time for that. Im just goin to put it randomly out there and say that I have an anxiety disorder, i can remember the exact day this problem developed, i was 16 and since then i have been learning to deal and searching for a cure. i refuse to use that bullshit nonsense that doctors prescribe and resort only to holistic,natural, and homeopathic means to fix it. My journey with this problem is a whole book in tha chronicles of Judy and is i must admit a pretty big reason why i decided to do this..i want to find and help other people my age with this similar experience and hopefully get ideas from others as well. I am not goin to school which is in direct correlation to tha anxiety problem, I do not have a job because of this fucked economy and partially tha anxiety haha To everybody else im just a lonely crazy beautiful BUM to me im something completely different and much more amazing:) So i guess thats as basic as i can make it! PEACE

First Post!

Ok this is my verry firsst post, im not really sure what possessed me to start a blog...i Just know I have a lot on my mind all tha time, a lot of opinions, and not a whole lot of people to express these things to. I Feel that I have a lot of wisdom to offer people my age and want in turn to receive insight from others. Im willing to put it all out there for tha world to read in hopes of being helped, helping others, and making connections with people. This will be my open diary, and im inviting you all to look into tha mind of a crazy 20 year old bitch like me haha peaace